Day 46: Non-Negotiables

                I thought I was busy before I started upon this Spartan Race journey, boy was I mistaken. Over the past 46 days I have crammed upwards of 10 extra hours of exercise per week along with an hour of blogging per day into an already busy schedule. To date I am proud that I have not missed a weight training workout, & am just 2 blog posts behind my pace of 1 per day (hoping to catch up this week). One of the major reasons I’ve been able to stick to my exercise program & my daily blog posts is because I’ve made their completion non-negotiable in my life.
 

                Today I am going to look at what non-negotiables are & how you can use them to ensure you find time for what is most important in your life. I am also going to discuss the 5 daily non-negotiables that I am going to look to implement into my life during the second half of this journey & beyond.  

What are non-negotiables 
                                 

                Non-negotiables are activities that you have deemed so important that no matter what, come hell or high water, you will complete. While I find non-negotiables most effective for daily tasks, they can also be applied to weekly, monthly, or even annual tasks & goals.
 

                 Ideally non-negotiable activities are quick, easy tasks that have a small impact on your daily life, but over time can provide significant improvements to an aspect of your life that you have deemed important. The tasks that you choose as non-negotiable should be specific so that at the end of the day you either completed, or did not complete the task.
 

An example of an effective non-negotiable would be to ‘run daily.’ At the end of each day, you can look back & clearly identify if you achieved your goal of running, or you did not. An example of a less effective non-negotiable would be to ‘stop stressing over work.’ Although reducing the stress in your life is a noble goal, it is difficult to quantify at the end of the day & is thus less effective as a non-negotiable. A better non-negotiable to help reduce stress may be to meditate or practice yoga daily; these are quantifiable tasks that will ultimately help you achieve your goal of reducing stress.   

 

How to choose your non-negotiables 

                We all have dozens if not hundreds of activities that we would love to implement into our lives if we could find time. Though it is tempting to choose 10 or 15 different activities & make them non-negotiable in an attempt to live the perfect life, it is simply not realistic. Similar to setting goals that are too ambitious, if you try to set too many tasks as non-negotiable, you are destined to become overwhelmed & quickly fall back into your old habits & behaviours.
 

                Although I am going to list 5 non-negotiables for myself below, my suggestion is that you start with 1 or 2 that are important to you. As with all goals & habits, it is best to start small, gain some small wins, & build upon the momentum from these successes into something greater. Once you successfully incorporate one non-negotiable into your life & it becomes routine, you are more likely to succeed in the next non-negotiable, & before you know it, you will have built the life that seemed so difficult to achieve when it was 10 or 15 different habits that you wanted to implement.
 

                In terms of choosing what your non-negotiable will be, my suggestion is to look at what is most important or most pressing in your life right now. Is it your job? Your physical or mental health? Your family? Whatever it may be, my suggestion would be to start there & look to identify one simply activity that, if done daily, would have a significant, positive impact over time. Perhaps it is to spend 15 minutes reading, meditating, doing yoga, or exercising – it is totally up to you. The important aspect is that you identify the non-negotiable & know why it is important to you.  

 

How to stick to your non-negotiables

1. Put them in your calendar: until it goes in the calendar, it’s not real. While it is great to commit to reading for 30 minutes per day, if it is not scheduled for a certain time or following a specific activity, it is much less likely you will be successful. As I discussed in my day 23 post on habit forming, by tying your goal to a specific time or event, you are far more likely to succeed. 
    
2. Tell people about them: another great way to stick to your non-negotiables is to tell people about them! Ideally, tell people that you see everyday such as a family member, spouse, or co-worker that you are committed to completing your non-negotiable every single day. Ask them to ask you about it daily. People love to be tied to someone else’s success, so get them involved! By telling people you are going to do something, you make the goal bigger than simply yourself, because you will feel as though you are letting them down as well.
    
3. Create a checklist: I am a huge believer in the power of lists. I believe check lists can be extremely powerful both in terms of helping you remember to complete a task, but more so to leverage the benefits of small wins & incremental gains. I believe the mental reward you get from checking an activity off a list can be a powerful motivator to help you achieve your next goal. The process of checking activities off your list can be addictive & can build momentum that can translate into enduring results. Personally, I find written lists work best, however if you prefer, a digital checklist can also do the trick.  
    
4. Remember your ‘why’: perhaps the most critical component of sticking to your non-negotiables is remembering why they were important in the first place. It can be easy to skip your morning workout because you are tired, however if you remind yourself that you are running so you can live long enough to see your grandchildren get married, or are reading so you can provide a better life for your family, it becomes a lot easier to follow through with the simple activities that you’ve committed to. The remembering your ‘why’ process is infinitely stronger when you have a strong why, so it is important that you choose non-negotiables that are important to you.

My non-negotiables 

                In my day 13 post on Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss, I discussed 7 habits that I had adopted from the book. I have continued to practice 5 of the 7 habits since this time, including committing to activities in advance, taking 20-minute sauna sessions, practicing slow carb dieting, focusing on systems versus goals, & taking cold showers, however I have fallen away from daily meditation & journaling in recent weeks. When I was completing daily meditation & journaling, I found myself more relaxed, calm, & happy, so beginning today I am going to implement these activities as non-negotiables in my life, along with a few others.  
 

                What follows below are the 5 ‘non-negotiables’ that I am committing to, I will follow up on this post on June 1^st to see how I have fared in sticking to them.

1. Meditation: as mentioned above, when I was meditating daily I experienced a reduction in stress & anxiety as well as an improved ability to control my emotions, resulting in a higher level of happiness overall. Over the past few weeks, my meditation practice has fallen off & I have missed the benefits that meditation provided. Moving forward, the first thing I will do after I wake each morning is meditate. I find this the most effective time to meditate, as my mind is not yet running with the days’ tasks & meditating first thing in the morning allows me to begin my day in a calm mood with a clear mind.   
    
2. Journaling: another habit that I have moved away from in recent weeks, daily journaling is a great anchor that allows me to look forward to the upcoming day in the morning, & reflect upon the day that has passed in the evening. I use the 5-minute journal from Tim Ferriss which, as advertised, takes 5 minutes per day, but can have a profound impact on overall happiness. Each morning I write 3 things that I am grateful for, 3 things that would make that day great, & 3 daily affirmations. In the evening, I write 3 things that made that day great & 3 things that could have made that day better. This daily journal allows me to identify trends of activities or habits that providing happiness, and those that are causing me stress or anxiety. If I notice for example that 3 days in a row I identified meditation as an activity that would make the day great, but I did not achieve it, then the first thing I will do the next day is meditate. It is very easy to get caught up in routine, & the daily journal is a quick way to reflect upon your day, allowing you to make adjustments as needed. I will complete my journal immediately after meditating in the morning, & right before bed at night.
    
   
3. Reading: perhaps the biggest casualty of my daily blog has been my practice of daily reading. Prior to beginning this journey, I would read for 30 minutes to an hour each morning before work. While the plan was to fit both my blogging & reading into my mornings, my blog posts have turned into a more time-consuming project than anticipated, & unfortunately have consumed my morning reading time. Moving forward, I am going to take 30 minutes to read at work per day, as well as try to fit in 30 minutes before bed. I find reading incredibly relaxing & enjoyable, so it important to me that I find time to do it each day. 
    
4. Blogging: I have been very consistent with my blogging & will look to continue to create one blog post per day for the next 50 days & perhaps beyond. Although blogging has taken up a lot more of my time than I had originally anticipated, I thoroughly enjoy the process & find it somewhat therapeutic to get my thoughts out onto a page. I have also found it a great way to hold myself accountable to the goals I set for myself. I try to be as honest as possible on this blog, so by putting in writing that I am going to work on implementing these 5 activities into my life, if come June 1^st I have not implemented them, I am going to feel as though I have let myself, along with the few people who happen to read this blog post down. It has become a powerful force that has allowed me to stick to my goals in a way that I have never been able to before.
    
5. Exercise: a second area where I will look to continue my success is in terms of exercise. I have been very consistent in ensuring that I get in my 4 strength building & 5 cardiovascular workouts per week & will look to continue to do so. Although this is not a daily non-negotiable since I have determined that I need at least 2 days per week for rest, I do consider my workouts a weekly non-negotiable, meaning that if I have a commitment that forces me to miss a workout, I must make it up that week during my scheduled off day. Thus far I have been successful & I will look to replicate that success in the weeks to come.

                Although 5 non-negotiables may seem like a lot to tackle at the same time, the reality is that I can complete 3 of 5 before I even leave for work in the morning & in total can complete all of these activities in just a few hours. Although none of these activities are overly time consuming, I know that each one alone has the potential to have a positive impact in my life, and when combined, I am confident that these 5 'non-negotiables' can truly transform my life in just a few hours per day. 


                I challenge you to find one or two activities that you are looking to implement into your life, & make them a ‘non-negotiable’ for just a few weeks using the strategies that I discussed above. Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of implementing 'non-negotiables' into your life is that you are forced to prioritize your time, which will inevitably lead to you trimming some of the fat, or time-consuming activities that are not taking up valuable time in your  life. Thus not only will non-negotiables help you implement new activities into your daily routine, they will help you de-clutter your life & live more efficiently!  

100-Day Spartan